Nepenthe

Easy answer. Used too much. An especially weak argument when the one finding it “funny” is never from the area it’s happening in, and thus doesn’t actually have any emotional connection they’re needing to cope with.

You know there are still a couple recordings floating around from people who had tried to call family and/or 911 prior to dying in 9/11? I’ve found anyone who listens to those seems to stop making the 9/11 jokes. Strikes me odd. Must have made it real.

Imagine half your backyard being in another country. Do you think they still mow it?

Defender of the basic is a video to live by

Because homonyms are the worst part of any language and Noah Webster agrees with me.

for the metric system they don’t even use.

British people will fund pirates to steal our measuring weights, only to convert themselves 200 years later and then act like the US doesn’t have a single STEM field. And then drive by the mile for a pint of milk.

I used to have one that did that. He was aching to get on the counter and the first time he actually succeeded, I was terrified he was about to burn himself.

Nope. He just wanted to watch me cook. Sat very politely the whole time. It became a thing. Never even asked me for any of it. He just wanted to spend time with me. I miss him.

I’ve actually never had anyone in a monster truck tell me I should buy a monster truck. So…by unfortunate definition…

Even Jesus said imagining adultery is the same as committing it. They can still think, ergo they are worthy of punishment

How do you just make the bed with no pillows

I was up at an Airbnb in Boston years ago and I still very much remember one entire third of the bed I was given being covered in different throw pillows. It was bad enough to actually be funny, and more intrusive irl than the photo I had to take would have you believe. Where the photo cuts off is the edge of the mattress.

I had to move them every night in order to go to sleep, and put them back every morning when I made the bed. I counted. There were sixteen of them. Everyone else’s beds were the same way.

I’d prefer if it weren’t, though

Depends on the life, I would think.

I was actually gonna say my peak was 23 because 1.5 months later, I’d just gotten my first place with my then-fiance. But that was also after nearly a decade of being completely homeless, so yeah, that can tip the scales a bit. It was a first place, not a nice place, and we didn’t always have food and running water. It was more me just not caring much about those things.

And then I remembered how freeing it was to leave after he metamorphosed into a drunk little cheating piece of shit. Very exciting. Had a solid support system for the first time ever. Aceing college despite never having been to high school. Happy cried a few times.

So I’m gonna call it at 28 and it’s all downhill from here, but OP needs to remember Life sometimes happens and it isn’t a cookie cutter TV sitcom.

I can be well into my 30s with no driver’s license because I missed the whole “Loving parents teach me to drive to high school” situation. I was eating out of a garbage can out back behind the Food Lion and sleeping in a park when that was supposed to happen. But I could also just go get one.

French: barbe Ă papa (daddy’s beard)

You know how, especially because in ancient Greece court cases could be based more on individual character assessment than any physical evidence, people would gather in marketplaces and workshops or outright hire someone to spread gossip about their opponent? If you knew anything about anything, that was the place it would spread?

Women have the bathroom. The mere suggestion of taking a piss to avoid drama

Oh, you’re the lifeblood of @gameart, aren’t you? I tried to contribute once, but then my favorite screenshot I ever took never even federated at all and I got too discouraged.

Still sad about it, tbh. No idea if it would happen again or not. I should dig through my folders again. I don’t think I have much, but I must have something

Problem being, “There are several vegan dishes I, a curious meat-eater, continue to enjoy to this day and everyone should at least give it a fair shake :D” is always going to come off better and likely pique someone’s interest more than “But think of the animals you are deliberately murdering!”

I’m well aware. If that were enough to sway me, I’d already be vegan. When your target lacks the morals you’re trying to capitalize on, you’re going to have to make it worth their while. In this case through the thing they care about: deliciousness.

Don’t leave us hanging

Found the bat.

One of them is probably a plankton, by the way. 95% of all marine life is plankton.

By namesake, my child should be a Beatle. Not sure if this means I am or that I have to marry a beetle to genetically make that happen. The whole question feels incestuous.

Slightly longer FAQ I dug up. Short answer: the game is the game.

The sole objective is to go for as long as possible without consciously thinking or talking about the game in any way. Once you realize you have, you’ve temporarily lost the game and have to start over. You must also announce your loss to others, forcing them to lose the game with much swearing.

Once you know about it, you’re automatically playing it. In all versions, there is either no way to stop playing or the game isn’t over til some event happens that is 100% never going to happen.

OP has lost and dragged everyone in the comments down with them

Right? Grandma grew up during the great depression. She’d understand.

I had that bad feeling myself, recently. “This merchant is in an extremely dangerous place,” I thought. “And here I am, overloading them with 39 scimitars and the equivalent contents of half a library and some dude’s entire ribcage just so I can take a scroll off them. What happens if and when they have to run? They’ll never make it. They’d have to ditch all of it just to have a chance.”

So I just started stealing. It’s for them. I’m out here saving lives, and not even needing your thanks. Just saying it would be nice.